I Feel I’ve Earned It

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I Feel I've Earned ItFifty four years on this earth and I’ve just now obtained goals that I couldn’t for so long.  In the last 12 years that is.  Something about relationships has just been preventative to my obtaining things I always wished I had.  I’m going to go with mostly the women I chose for companions were horrible with money.  I live alone now and I have things I’ve tried to have in the past but couldn’t, because somehow we couldn’t afford them.  Even though we both worked full time.  I realize now that I am sure the problem was I put my trust into them handling the finances.

You’d think that I would’ve learned after the first bankruptcy not to do that.   Or at least by the second bankruptcy.  No…  It was the third that finally tipped me off.

I know I’m good at math because the Supply Officer on the Enterprise immediately pulled me aside when I was assigned to the ship and immediately made me an RPPO of the entire ships budget.  While I don’t think the title matched the job, I did it well while I was there.  I made sure all department heads spent their money wisely.  Impressive considering I was just an Airman Recruit (E1) fresh from A-School.  I even won awards for doing my job well and received a boost in rank and pay (from Airman E3 to Third Class Petty Officer E4) just for performing a flawless review of an inspection while my First Class Petty Officer was on leave.

Yet when it came to relationships I’d hand over my pay check and misplaced my trust to someone who clearly sucked at handling money.

Now that I’ve fixed my shattered life.  I’ve achieved everything I’ve set out to achieve before with someone else.  Weird how that I could do that on a single income as a single man.  But couldn’t with someone else.  I digress.

Now that I own my own home, I decided to spoil myself too.  I only have a 0.18 acre lot for my house, but dammit, I have always a riding lawn mower.  Not just any old one, but a brand new one.   At this point in my life I don’t really relish raking leaves for hours when I can user a bagger to suck them up and take care of them quickly.  Or not waste more time than I have to mowing the grass.

Or the fact I own 5 guitars.  I don’t even know how to play them that well, but I have very nice guitars for learning on.

I’m able to buy things I want and still have money in the bank.  These are just a few examples of what I’ve been able to do to enjoy my life now.

Things like this I was never able to have until now.  I’ve worked hard all my life to only come up short when I trusted someone else.  Now I only trust myself and I find I am able to do things I’ve put off in the past.  I think now I feel I have earned the right to enjoy life more than I was able to before.

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